Meritocracies of love
Soul mates exist and are great but it’s not about you:

I have come to believe the mantra my mother used to repeat to me as a child, though I resented it at the time: we’re not here to be happy; we’re here to change things for the better in the ways that we can.

I suspect that for many people, love is work, even backbreakingly, or heartbreakingly, hard work.