From The Rockall Times this month
Bush gets policy boost from Punxsutawney Phil

It’s time for me to prognosticate, free from fault and error,
I cannot see an end today, to this global war on terror,
So be sure to lock up anyone who carries the Koran,
And cancel any holiday plans to Syria or Iran.

And something from 2002
Intentionally low and broad but funny with a lot of truth

Speaking of Iran:

Bush denies plans to attack

This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. Having said that, all options are on the table.

‘Even ridiculous ones. Mistakes were made. I did not have sex with that woman. I hope you’re not paying too close attention.’

Seriously, regarding Iran:

Lord, in Thy mercy: hear our prayer