Thursday, August 25, 2005

From Psychology Today
Why even for pragmatic secular reasons cohabitation is a bad idea
Surprise, surprise — a lot of twentynothing boys (I won’t call them men), especially today, are selfish twerps only looking for a way not to pay rent and have sex privileges

Apparently it’s becoming commoner now (especially in Europe and apostate Quebec) for people that age to live like pre-conversion St Augustine did in a temporary pseudo-marriage even producing children. At least St Augustine, cultured Roman that he was, actually loved his girlfriend, but for social-climbing reasons was too cowardly to marry her. They had a son, Adeodatus (‘gift from God’).

All this reminds of some of the online conversations now about a movie I wasn’t planning on seeing, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I’ve read some reviews: even though it’s wallpapered over with an overarching message that’s OK, that even nominally praises love and chastity (and makes fun of the unchaste profligate wannabes out there — like Quagmire on ‘Family Guy’; I’ve met a real version of him), it’s definitely being marketed as ‘Hey, Christians and anybody else who’s chaste for any reason! We, the secular world (your betters in Hollywood and on Madison Avenue), think you’re stupid and hate you!’* (How dare you not buy our products and then not have to buy more products like abortion services!) Anyway, one thing I learnt from these conversations is that mainstream churches now go along with secular bridal-magazine sex advice — take a fortnight-to-month-long break from sex before the wedding (the mags say essentially ‘to make it feel special’). Even RC priests in the States apparently go along with this: ‘We know what you’re doing but for the rules’ sake (you know, from, like, that old German guy in Rome who wants to spoil your fun) pretend to be chaste and live apart for two weeks before the ceremony’. Better than nothing I suppose but still a sell-out.

All they want are pretty pictures of a ceremony (to celebrate their commitment to each other ‘as long as our love shall last’ I reckon). In a way it’d be better (more honest) if they did what the Japanese do and just rent a stage set and actor for all that. (While we’re at it, get the state out of the marriage business.)

An Eastern Orthodox online writer, I forget who, has noted that a lot of these types want ministers who are like funeral directors, all sweet and pious and at their service but not in any way, good or bad, trying to tell them what to do.

P.S. I’ve never seen a cohabiting relationship that lasted.

*The Nazi side of secular culture, with this PC love-filled message to the chaste-by-choice (wait, what about ‘pro-choice’?), the handicapped or the just plain unattractive: ‘You’re less than human so why don’t you just hurry up and die?’

No comments:

Post a comment

Leave comment