Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Religion: time to put these puppies to sleep
Ecclesiastical clichés/common knowledge. Sorry if I’m repeating myself.
  • ‘The Patriarch of Constantinople is the spiritual head of the world’s Orthodox Christians.’ More.
  • One from the right on the left: ‘clown Masses’. 35 years ago even the keenest novelty-loving cleric twigged that clowns scare the bejaysus out of many kids (cue creepy Krusty laugh) and stopped doing this.
  • One from the left, recently challenged by the Whapsters: if you grew up in the polyester 1970s or later and are a lapsed RC, stow the ‘mean nuns hit me’ stories. Chances are you’re making that up and either won’t come clean with the real reason or are too lazy to make up your own horror stories so you stole that one from older folks. (My rector and father confessor grew up with proper nuns, as my late rector called them, in the ‘awful’ 1950s, loved every minute of it and prays for every sister who taught him. ‘Yes, S’ter.’)
  • The Episcopal row: ‘_________ are destroying the church’ with no qualifiers. Destroying the church. THE church? The left commune non-Christians (which didn’t happen recently in LA BTW) but show them a conservative or bring up property and they turn into Trollopean Tories or Pius IX in platform shoes. The right are guilty of this exaggeration as well. As the pugnacious and often funny Christopher Johnson rhetorically asked, has anybody phoned or woken up the Pope and the Patriarch of Moscow in the middle of the night with this dire news? (‘Your Holiness! It’s... the Episcopalians!’) Right, if the Piskies get uninvited to Lambeth Mr Bush will send Homeland Security to confiscate their churches, knock on their doors and fly Terry Martin to Gitmo all on +Fort Worth’s or ++Abuensis’s orders. Bwa ha ha (laughs conservative bishop in big armchair petting cat in lap). I really don’t think so (nor ought it).

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