Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Cracked history
  • The teens: Picasso, Matisse and Duchamp got the world used to accepting hilarious pretension and babyish douchebaggery on a massive scale, just so long as the art was sufficiently mind-bending. Medicine was still in the stage where doctors prescribed a teener of coke for a toothache.
  • WWII could apply for a patent on masculinity and it would be granted.
  • Holy shit we looked good in the ’50s. It’s easy to be a conformist when it makes all men look like Don Draper and all women look like Joan Holloway.
  • The ’70s: The Movie Brats took over Hollywood and, with all respect to the ’30s and ’40s, were responsible for the single best decade in American movie history. Spielberg, Lucas, Coppola, Scorsese, Carpenter, Friedkin, De Palma and more took their film degrees and somehow conned Hollywood into handing a bunch of bearded nerds the keys to the kingdom. They made some of the most adventurous studio system films ever produced.
  • The ’90s: We got rich, bitch! The decade began with a recession, and ended with the biggest surplus in American history. Personal incomes doubled over the course of the decade, and the DOW topped 10,000 for the first time in recorded history. Germany unified, and the Soviet Union finally broke apart. Hell, even Ireland finally agreed to stop bombing the hell out of itself.

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