Important things they don’t teach you in school

• How to spot a douchebag in which the writer rips on Roissy (more than a bit of truth... as told by Satan, funnier and more useful than all the Sunday-school teachers rewriting Screwtape) and friends. That should give you a hint that this article is not for the easily offended. No, you’re not Terrell Owens.
• How to get away from somebody who is trying to mug or rape you, why you can’t reason with a screaming drunk and why believing action movies are real will get you killed.
• How to figure out if the repair guy is screwing you.
• Randomly meeting the right people and not pissing them off. Example: He was just another ambitious, pretty face, in a city full of them. He got so fed up, he quit acting and became a carpenter. Then one day he got hired to install cabinets in the home of a guy named George Lucas. They became friends. That got him the role of Han Solo a few years later.
• This could be wrong about homeopathy: the AMA hate competition.
• Why losing weight requires some suffering.
• How to cook cheap food that won’t kill you: fat-free versions of fat foods are terrible so don’t bother and it’s hard to screw up spaghetti.
• Why talk radio is a terrible source of information.
• Social studies: life is hard and you will die; get over it.

From Cracked.